Updated: May 22, 2018
Often I'll talk to women who say I'd love to do hypnobirthing but my partner doesn't want to. Now I'm normally the sort of person who would say well bugger him just go and do it yourself, however, hypnobirthing can be such a wonderful thing for a couple to do together and can make such a difference to your birth when you have a supportive birthing partner. Your birthing partner doesn't even have to be the father, it can be your mum, your sister, your close friend etc. but if you are in a position where the father can be there for you then do all you can to get him on board. Hopefully this blog post will give you some tips to help get him to agree to come to hypnobirthing classes with you!
Is he sceptical of hypnobirthing?
If he's sceptical let him know that we actively welcome scepticism not only to the hypnobirthing class but to all areas of your maternity care. Usually once fathers see the logic of hypnobirthing (and then the results) they often become it's biggest advocate.
Let him know what an important role he will play
Quite often in pregnancy the father can feel a bit left out or surplus to requirements (he's done his bit and there's nothing more he can do) but with hypnobirthing your partner is actively involved in the whole process. Let him know he will play an important role in your birth and preparations for it. He will participate in the classes just as much as you will, he’ll practise with you and his voice will become an anchor (a trigger) for your relaxation during labour. He’ll probably learn a whole lot more than he did at your hospital antenatal classes and have a lot more fun! When you're in labour he’ll get to fulfil his innate (and probably unspoken) need to protect you as he’ll know exactly what you want and what you need.
Here's a nice YouTube clip of a father talking about his role in hypnobirthing that might help give him some idea of the role he’ll play.
Tell him how much it means to you to have a positive birth
If he's thinking ‘oh bloody hell do I have to go to another class?’ Let him know that this course isn't like the other pregnancy classes you may have been too, that this one means so much to you because it’s the course that is going to have the most positive impact on the most important day of your life! Surely he thinks you deserve to have a great birth?
Find out what his real reason for not wanting to go is
Try to get to the root cause of why he doesn't want to do it, is it because he doesn't understand what it is? Is it because he sees it as yet another expense? Is it because he thinks it's going to be airy fairy hippies sitting around meditating? Once you know what his real issue is you can probably come up with/google some answers to his reasons.
Massage his ego!
Talk to him about why you really want him to do it with you and that you really need his support because you are nervous about doing it and you don’t think you can do it without him. Everyone likes to feel needed.
Go to a free hypnobirthing taster class
The best way to help him get over it is to go to a free taster class so he can get a feel for what the full course will be like, you can find details of my next free taster class here
When all else fails ...
And if that still doesn't work there might not be any hope! At the end of the day you are the one who is having the baby so the most important person to do the course is you! Whilst it's great to have a supportive partner it's totally doable on your own. Go to a course, read a hypnobirthing book, listen to the relaxations & positive affirmations daily and practise, practice, practise … and you’ll smash it!
Comment below with any tips you have to get a reluctant partner on board